Drunk Lies


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For some reason, there are people that believe that being drunk will make you more likely to tell the truth. I guess through some faulty logic it makes sense. But this conclusion is based on the idea that your unfiltered thoughts are in fact based on the truth. The thing is when you’re drunk you’re much more likely to say anything that pops into your mind. In some situations, for some people that could be a hidden truth; crushes, long kept secrets, prejudices, negative and judgemental opinions, etc.  However, how many times have you met the drunk guy that decides he loves everybody or wants to fight everybody including the coat in the corner that keeps eyeing him. How can you trust an impaired mind to even know what the truth is.

See me, I have a tendency to get drunk and come up with outrageous stories. Granted I’ve always had the habit of giving out a fake name. But it’s turned into so much more. I have more than one that I use depending on my mood and each has their own backstory, well maybe more than one. It’s not easy to stay consistent making them up drunk. But even when I’m out with people I know I can’t help blurting out the first random bullshit that come to mind. It’s actually quite entertaining to see people’s reactions.

It kind of amazes me the shit people will believe, I’ve even caught a couple of people that know me. It took Teresa a while but she eventually caught on, although I did have her convinced I was committed to a mental institution for a while.  And Jeff still suspects that in high school I hooked up with our English teacher.


That Time I Thought I Killed A Guy


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We’ve all known somebody that was so irritating just the thought of them brought on violent fantasies. Alright maybe more than one somebody, but you know the type of person. Just the sight of their face brings up images of it getting smashed in. Well in high school, there was one predominant one, Richie Brito. He was big, dumb and ugly, but managed to get by through fear and violence. He’d act like everybody was his friend making bad jokes at their expense, intimidating them into doing his work or letting him cheat. For fear of his temper everybody simply put up with him, even a few teachers passed him just to get him out of their class.

Somehow this walking pile of shit managed to have a girlfriend, Chanice. She was an okay girl and at first seemed enough distraction to make his presence tolerable. But it wasn’t long before she just became one more target of his anger. He was jealous and controlling. She couldn’t talk to other guys, when she did he would call her a slut. At lunch he’d make jokes about how dumb she was, meanwhile she did his homework. I imagined walking up behind him as he threw his head back laughing and slicing his throat. But I didn’t bother doing or saying anything. He wasn’t worth the trouble, I’d already had it out with him the past. When he finally realized he couldn’t scare me he just ignored me and I did the same.

I wanted so bad to tell him to shut the fuck up, leave her alone. I wanted to smack her and ask what the fuck she was thinking. This guy was shit, he was a shit to her, why put up with it? But if a girl’s dumb enough to stick around it’s not my problem. Then one day I was on the fourth floor walking towards the stairwell. I heard yelling coming from a couple flights down. I realized it was him. “You dirty slut, get back here.” He kept yelling as he ran up the stairs. I got to the top of the stairs and stood there listening, until Chanice turned up and ran up towards me. She was looking back and ran right into me. I caught her, hitting my back on the wall behind me. I grabbed her arms, before she ripped free of me and ran into the hall I saw a look of pure terror on her face.

“Get the fuck out of my way bitch.” I looked down, he had stopped at the landing. Then he ran up the stairs taking them two or three at a time. His face was twisted in anger. Without any thought I stepped forward and kicked him in the chest. His face quickly contorted from rage to surprise then worry as he teetered back on the last step. He waved his arms, looking for something to grab on to. Standing dead center the banister on each side was just out of reach. He leaned forward but his feet already left the step, he rolled backwards down the stairs.

“Holy Shit!” I turned and a senior, Javier I think his name was, was standing in the doorway to the stair well. “What’d you do?”

I shook my head, thinking, hoping this was one of my fantasies. He’d hit the landing with a large thud, then didn’t move. I thought, he’s dead. For a split second I was glad, then worry set in. “Oh fuck, no way. Is…he?”

Javier started to walk down the stairs, he paused. “Looks like he’s breathing.” He was about to take another step down and Richie let out a low groan. “You better get out of her. I’ll get him some help.”

“But.” I started to back away. “You think he’s really hurt?”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t see nothing, you weren’t here. He fell on his own.” He turned to face the next landing and told somebody to get a teacher. “Just go.”

I turned and ran to the stairs on the other end of the hall. I slowed down descending the stairs thinking about Richie rolling down those steps. I tried to recreate it in my head, imagining exactly where his body had made impact with the stairs. I wanted to know how badly he was hurt? Maybe a broken bone or a concussion, he had to have hit his head. I hadn’t seen any blood, so it wasn’t cracked open. I laughed, “Too bad.”

He was taken out of school that day in an ambulance and didn’t come back for a week or so. They told the rest of the students it was just an accident. I assume he was too macho to tell them what really happened. If anybody asked he wouldn’t talk about it and it was pretty much forgotten about. While I was relieved he wasn’t dead, it might of been a bit more satisfying if he’d been hurt worse. I do have to say though the thought of possibly taking his life was exciting in a number of different ways.

New Year Same Idiots


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So of course it’s that time of year, the beginning of a new year. That magical time where we can forget the bad events of the previous year, only foresee good fortune for the future, and people can completely transform overnight. You know the saying “New year, new me.” We’ve gotten to the point where it’s even beyond ridiculous New Year’s resolutions that nobody ever follows through on. They’re going to become whole new people.

It’s not just about quitting smoking, drinking, or losing weight. Now they’ll transform, shedding all their bad behaviors by embracing a whole new mindset. Social media will, of course, be dominated by post about personal growth and embracing a new positive lifestyle. It’s pretty damn hilarious that it’s usually the same old people too. The same miserable bastards that will likely be miserable to the day they die.

While they’re all bullshitting, I have no intentions of changing anything. I’ll stick to my resolution to continue being the amazingly awesome person I already am and enjoy the fuck out it.

Halloween Birthday


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My birthday is October 31st, yes Halloween. Even as a kid I never really cared much about it being my birthday. Moving so much I never really had a chance to make any friends. Most kids in school and around the neighborhood didn’t even know who I was, much less when my birthday was, and they didn’t care either. Honestly I didn’t mind it, I liked Halloween anyway. I loved the idea of being able to play dress up and get candy, it seemed so much better than just a birthday party. A party would have been lame, nobody would have come, and besides Halloween candy last longer than cake. Plus I’d pretend that it was all for my birthday anyway, the whole holiday and traditions were secretly created just to celebrate me. It didn’t matter that nobody knew, I knew. As I got older, I let go of the fantasy, but still always liked Halloween. And while I still go and party, especially hard, I rarely tell anybody it’s my birthday too.

The thing I find most interesting about Halloween is how it can be very revealing about a persons true nature. It’s a day that all real norms are ignored. People get to dress up in ridiculous costumes, kids ask strangers for candy, and random acts of vandalism and pranks are mostly laughed off. It really just seems like people use the day as an excuse to indulge in behavior they’d be too self conscious to otherwise. I always wonder about the women that choose a slutty nurse, cop or Olaf costume. (Yes the Disney movie Frozen character inspired a slutty costume.) Yet any other time of year, they judge and put down women calling them sluts because of their attire or behavior, jealous much. Then there’s the darker side people flock to. Beyond the make believe monsters, real life horrors and violence are depicted in costumes, decorations and entertainment. Yes I guess it’s all part of the fun, but when it seems like people have a total different side to them you start to think. I wonder if they’re just revealing a part of themselves they’re too scared to show any other time.


A Few Of My Favorite Things: Romeo and Juliet Movie


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One of my favorite movies is the 90’s remake Romeo and Juliet. Some people think it’s a little odd for me, though, it’s not for the reasons people would expect. I’m not exactly what you’d call a romantic and the tragic star crossed lovers story never really had any effect on me. While most teenage girls were only interested in seeing Leonardo DeCaprio, I couldn’t have cared less. He’s a good actor but I wasn’t into him for his looks like every other girl I knew. I always thought he was a little too pretty. And ugh Claire Danes, her face just literally annoys me. I cheered a little inside when she finally died.

Luckily the rest of the casting was great. John Leguizamo was phenomenal in the role of Tybalt. I don’t remember him doing any serious roles before this and I was surprised at how great of a villain he played. Even more surprising was how damn hot he looked. Seriously, before this movie I always thought of him as goofy and funny looking. I started looking at him in a whole new way after this. My other favorite person in the movie was Mercutio, Harold Perrineau. While he’s been in tons of different movies and TV shows, he will always be Mercutio to me. Literally, anytime I see him all I see is his final scene on the beach. “A curse upon both you’re houses.” In fact all of Romeo’s crew was fun to watch.

What I liked most about the movie was the look of it. I guess that would be the cinematography. I thought their choice of setting made a beautiful background and some of the wide shots of it were beautiful. There was just something about the way shots were framed and how each scene was set up. Also particular effects really helped tell the story. For example the party scene before Romeo sees Juliet, the way everything passes quickly across the screen, simulating his experience of the party while high on drugs. But really the sets, the costumes, everything about the movie is visually stimulating.  It really pulls you in to the story. Lastly, the soundtrack was awesome.


Summer Fun


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I really hate summer. It’s too hot, especially in the city with the added humidity. I always feel uncomfortable and I usually have to take at least two showers a day. Even as a kid I hated it, maybe even more at times. I was forced to go to summer camp and despised the whole experience. I refused to participate in any of the sports or outside activities. I barely even liked the pool, it may have been a chance to cool off, but usually they were gross and dirty looking. The only thing I found remotely interesting was arts & crafts, plus it was about the only time we got to sit in an air conditioned room.

But for a couple of years during high school it was actually my favorite time of year. I still hated the heat but I was finally old enough to work but could only get a summer job, working at you guessed it a summer camp. I was miserable at the job, but I had money to burn so it made me happy. Plus I started hanging out with a couple of the girls from the job, Michelle and Carol. They were crazy and fun as hell to hang out with. They’d only go out with older guys so they could get alcohol, they were big drinkers and would try any drug at least once. Carol was a big pill popper, one night we drove around Brooklyn all night with her passed out in the backseat. Michelle’s guy had offered her a handful of pills at the beginning of the night and we figured she ended up taking them all. She woke up just as we were getting ready to leave Coney Island, we ended up there drinking on the beach until the sun came up.

Michelle knew all kinds of crazy guys, who would let us hang out with them. It never occurred to me then to wonder why grown men would want to hang out with teenage girls. Thinking back on how many of them we all hooked up with, I realize we were just easy prey. But hey at the time I didn’t care, and I’m sure if I was them I would have done the same. Shit there was one guy, Matt, that we all pretty much threw ourselves at. Carol and Michelle actually had a fist fight over him, meanwhile I just hooked up with him on the down low. That was the one problem with them, they always had some kind of drama going on. At one point Michelle was seeing this guy, that was literally a crackhead. We tried to tell her she needed to dump him but she was convinced she could save him. Then there was the time Carol wanted to run away and move to Florida. She had met some guy online that lived there, he convinced her he’d take care of all of us if we went to go live with him.

As entertaining as it was most of the time, it was also extremely exhausting. Eventually, we all stopped working at the summer camp. They tried calling me to keep hanging out but I always came up with some excuse and after a while they stopped calling. I admit sometimes I miss them but I just imagine them older still fighting over boys, almost ODing on pills and generally being a mess and realize I’m probably better off without them in my life.


Author’s Note: Shameless Self Promotion


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Hello, LexC, writer and creator of Dante here. You wont be hearing from her this week, I decided instead to give you a little update on some other projects I’ve been working on. In other words some shameless promotion.


  • There are still copies of Dante’s Tall Tales available. The handmade pamphlet book includes a dozen stories that originally appeared on the blog, edited and much improved. You can find those in my Etsy shop, along with poetry postcards and pocketbooks.
  • I created a book of writing Prompts, you can download it free as a subscriber to the Last Word LexC newsletter. A monthly email with updates on my blogs, different writing projects and Etsy shop. Plus you get sneak peaks at new stories, poetry and other projects. Interested? Find out more and sign up here.


If you haven’t checked out my main blog/website, www.lastwordlexc.com., I highly recommend it. Posts cover a wide variety of subjects, including but definitely not limited to writing, books, movies, etc. I also share some fiction and poetry works in progress. Use the link above or check out Meet The Author sidebar on your left to see my latest posts


If I Hear One More Happy Friday


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So for pretty much my whole life I haven’t worked a Monday through Friday, 9-5 job. In fact most of my jobs I end up working nights and weekends. Hooray for me and my social life. Actually, it doesn’t really stop me. I’ve had plenty of practice going out, getting wasted and having to drag my ass into work the next day.  I’ve pretty much mastered the art of working hungover, and on rare occasions still drunk.

I don’t even mind and in some cases have preferred to work weekends. But what I can’t deal with are the people that make a big deal every time the weekend rolls around. The worst are the people that actually go around saying “Happy Friday.” They make it seem like it’s this rare occasion or a holiday. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. “Asshole, it’s just another day of the damn week.”

But since that probably wouldn’t go over too well with my bosses I usually just ignore it. Though it was hard to ignore that year I worked in a coffee shop. Almost every customer would always tell me to cheer up Friday morning because the weekend was coming. I’d perk up give, them a big smile. and say, “Well thanks but I work all weekend so that doesn’t mean anything to me.” The best part was that it was usually the same people week after week. But I got my revenge, I usually had Tuesday and Thursday off. So when they’d roll in Monday morning dragging ass, I’d brag about it being my Friday and having the next two days off.

A Few Of My Favorite Things


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I don’t really listen to any new music. It’s all pretty much crap these days, has been for a while. Haven’t even tried listening to anything new after the 90’s. I used to always have the radio on. But it started to suck so bad I refused to listen to stations that play anything new. I won’t even try. Instead I stick with old favorites I grew up with, like Queen. My favorite song ever is “Bohemian Rhapsody.” All their songs are awesome but I just love that one. I recently found this video of the song being acted out, it just made me love it even more.


This is one of those rare occasions where I actually love the internet. Yeah it produces a lot of crap but finding this gem makes it worthwhile.

I’ll Never Tell: My Darkest Days


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My biggest secret is a couple of months after my mother’s death I was hospitalized for a supposed suicide attempt. It wasn’t really, I wouldn’t do that. As you can imagine, my mother’s death was pretty much devastating. It is and probably will always be the most traumatic thing I’ve had to go through. I thought the only solution was to block out the pain. Instead of going to school, I’d cut classes hanging out with the school drunks, pothead and pill poppers. I like drinking but sometimes it made me more emotional, and weed made me think too much. But the pills I liked. I knew kids that could get pretty much anything, mostly I took an assortment of painkillers or Xanax, anything that left me feeling sedated and numb. Combined with a couple of drinks, it worked quite well.

That was until one night hanging out with some older guys I drank about half a bottle of whiskey. When I got home I was alone and upset. My brother had his own place and my father was always out. He was too caught up in his own issues. I must have lost track of what I drank or what pills I took. By some miracle my brother had come over to check on me. I was passed out and he couldn’t wake me up. When he found my stash of pills he freaked and took me to the hospital. I had to stay there for almost two weeks. My brother finally convinced them to release me on the condition I’d continue with grief counseling. I guess it was a little bit of a wake up call for my father, he stopped going out and spent every night at home with me. It was torture, between him and my brother I could barely take a shit alone. Seriously if I was in the bathroom more than two minutes they’d knock on the door to check on me.

But my father’s attention wore thin after about a month. First he just went out on weekends and only if my brother came over. Slowly it progressed back to every night. And my brother’s visits became fewer and farther between. It wasn’t really necessary, I was never touching another pill again. I even started going back to classes and waited for weekend nights to do my drinking.