I have no problem admitting I’ve done a lot of really shitty things. I get caught up in myself and don’t really stop to consider other people. But I think most people are like that, at the least the ones I’ve known in my life. At some point or another we have all done something wrong. People lie, cheat, steal and just in general fuck people over for their own selfish needs. What I do is usually no worse than anything they’ve done. So I’m just playing my role in a cycle of people fucking each other over to keep a karmic balance.
Looking back sometimes I’ll think I went to far and feel bad for people. But usually I don’t regret my actions. The only thing I would change is how I treated a high school boyfriend. He was a nice guy ended up being my first. But after a couple of months he started talking about being together for the rest of our life. We were only sixteen. I didn’t realize he had fallen in love and expected a future together because of our relationship. I got freaked and cheated on him. I told him. He insisted he could forgive me and that we could still together. He suggested we could have an open relationship. He was insecure and would have done anything for me to stay with him. I couldn’t deal with it because I knew all I would do was hurt him. I tried to tell him and he just wouldn’t get it. I thought my only solution was to find a way to make him hate me. I purposely got caught with his best friend. It worked.