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Last weekend late at night I’m on the train home. The train was practically empty and actually quite peaceful. Of course until two incredibly loud and annoying dudes got on. It’s Saturday night they’re in business suits and in general have a real douchbaggyish air about them. Spreading out in the middle seats they sat across from each other talking loudly over the the rattling train about how dumb football players are. I tried reading to block them out, but it wasn’t working.

I walked over and said hello. They stopped talking, caught each others eye for a second raised an eyebrow then looked up at me. On my left a damn right beautiful blond with blue eyes. He looks me up and down suspiciously. “Hello,” he said as he lifted his hand to his face and slowly swiped the index finger along his chin.

The one to my right leaned back, an arrogant smile formed on his face. “Well hello to you.” He had black hair, slick back and brown eyes. His face reminded me of a rat. Slowly I turn looking him in the eye. I smile coyly and took the seat next to him.

“So I couldn’t help but hear your conversation.”

The blond leaned forward. “Is that so? And?”

I looked at him then quickly turned my attention back to rat face. I put my hand on his outstretched leg. “Well I just have one little question.” I lean forward. “Do you mind?”

He looked down at his leg his smile widening. “Sure, why not.”

“I was just wondering why the fuck you’re sitting around wasting your time discussing how football players?

The smile dropped from his face. He looked confused. “Umm. What?”

The blond got up. “What do care?”

“Well I just figured there had to be reason. So I’m curious. Did you get your ass kicked by football players in school?”

Rat face sat up, and said defensively, “No. Nobody ever kicked my ass.”

“Okay maybe they didn’t beat you up. Just wouldn’t let you into their cool kid clique. You sound like two little bitches, talking shit about people you don’t even know.”

Rat face stood up. “What the fuck?”

The blond moved to step forward. “Little bitches.”

Rat face stretched his arm across his friends chest. He yelled, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He started to pull the blond away. “Crazy fucken bitch.”

“Oh I know what it is, your jealous because you can’t get laid.”

Rat face turned back and leaned in close to my face. “You’re going to stop talking. Now!” I started laughing.

Behind him the blond yelled, “Bitch. Fuck you. Crazy fucken bitches.” Just then the doors opened at the next stop. He looked up “Fuck this shit. Here’s our stop. Fuck this bitch.”

Rat face slowly backed away. “You got problems, bitch.” Once he was off the train I blew him a kiss then laughed. I enjoyed the rest of the ride in peace. Ever so often thinking about them and having another little laugh.

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