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So I have one tattoo that I guess I got really as a bet, I might actually kind of regret it. One day in the house me and Jeff had the radio on, we only really listen to the classic rock station. The song “Jessie’s Girl” came on. We both stopped what we were doing and sang along like idiots. Joking I told him I should get it that as a tattoo.

“Oh you totally should. You know how many douchebags will try hitting on you by asking who Jessie is?

“That would be an interesting experiment. Oh my god, you think any of them might use the lyrics as a pick up line?.”

“Yeah I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“I bet there’s at least one.”

“Okay. Well I’ll give you a hundred bucks if anybody does. I would so pay to see that, it would be too funny. ”

“Yeah really. No I’m not doing it.” I thought about it a second, if it happened once it might pay off, I could get a good deal on a tattoo. “Really? Do you have to be there? Can a just tell you it happened?” He didn’t respond right away. “What you don’t trust me?”

“No, no. But it’s just, it only pays for me if I’m there.”

It paid off for me but only a few times. He was there once, the other times I had witnesses and it was as funny as you think it would be. It also paid off in other ways sometimes though. It was fun to make up different stories about it. Jessie was my first love, best friend from childhood who tragically died; drug dealer ex-boyfriend who was in jail now; crazy possessive stalker ex-husband who was killed after trying to kill my family and kidnap me. I think a lot of them were actually lifetime movie plot lines. It paid off to see some of their reactions. I’m not sure which ones believed me or thought I was just bat shit crazy.

One time in a bar some guy told me I was an idiot for branding myself with some random guys name. I looked at him and told him it was a song title. He looked at me confused for a minute. “Well it’s still dumb.” That’s about the time that I realized it had been a pretty bad idea.