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A while back Jeff started fucking around with a chick from one of the neighborhood bars. She was horrible, a total two faced bitch. Every time I saw her around she was complaining or talking shit about the people she was hanging out with including Jeff. I told him he seemed pathetic, but he didn’t care. Fuck it though, what did I care. I just stayed far away when she was around. She tried saying hello and talking to me a few times but I just ignored her. Then one day she comes up to me while I’m sitting at the bar. As I was talking to a guy I had just met she taps me on the shoulder. “Just wanted to say hi. Who’s your friend.” She squeezes herself between our two stools. “Hi, I’m Eve.”

“Eddie” I turned in the stool making sure to push her aside with my legs. She moved to the other side of him pulling him to face her as she spoke. She positioned herself within inches of his face and did not stop talking. I saw him try to turn but she had trapped him in the seat. I turned back to the bar, finished my drink and waved to the bartender another one. Eventually, I heard him tell her he needed to piss, then run off quickly leaving his drink behind. After a few minutes she sat in his seat and started finishing off his drink. I spotted him on the other side of the bar sitting at a table with a bunch of guys. “You know he’s not coming back.”

“What? You talking to me?”

“Yes. I said he’s not coming back. You deaf?

“I don’t know. I mean no. What are you talking about?”

“The guy you chased away. He ran away and he’s not coming back.”

“You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Go home.”

“Oh yeah. So why’s he hanging out over there now.” I turned and pointed to the other side of the bar. Her eyes followed my finger, widening when she spotted him. “You just couldn’t get out of his face for two seconds.”

“Fuck you.” I laughed. “Bet you wont laugh when I get Jeff to kick your ass out.”

I started laughing harder, she just stared at me looking confused. When she walked away, I text Jeff to come by. She ran to him the minute he stepped into the door. I watched from the bar not moving. He saw me and walked away from her. She stared at me from behind him with her face all twisted

“Hey wassup.”

“So you’re little friend there has got to go.”

“Dude, what? Come on I know you don’t like her but I gotta get laid sometime.”

“First, you could do much better. Stop being lazy. Second, bitch is out of control. She actually told me she’d get you to kick me out.”

He looked at me for a minute before saying anything. “You’re kidding right.”

I didn’t answer him. While we were talking I could see her behind him inching her way closer and closer. I nodded in her direction when she was a few feet behind him. He turned and waved her over. She stood next to him smiling looking straight at me. “So you buying me a drink or what.”

“Nope.” She stepped back and gave him a shocked look.

“Yeah I’ve thought about it and you’re just too much of a…what’s the word I’m looking for?”

“Bum. Two faced bitch. Hoe bag.”

“Yeah that’s all about right.” We both started laughing hysterically while she just stared at us.

“You can’t–”

“Shut up bitch. Come on Jeff, let’s get out of here. This place is really going downhill.”

“You’re right nothing but trash here lately.” We walked out of the bar while she stood there in shock.