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So of course it’s that time of year, the beginning of a new year. That magical time where we can forget the bad events of the previous year, only foresee good fortune for the future, and people can completely transform overnight. You know the saying “New year, new me.” We’ve gotten to the point where it’s even beyond ridiculous New Year’s resolutions that nobody ever follows through on. They’re going to become whole new people.

It’s not just about quitting smoking, drinking, or losing weight. Now they’ll transform, shedding all their bad behaviors by embracing a whole new mindset. Social media will, of course, be dominated by post about personal growth and embracing a new positive lifestyle. It’s pretty damn hilarious that it’s usually the same old people too. The same miserable bastards that will likely be miserable to the day they die.

While they’re all bullshitting, I have no intentions of changing anything. I’ll stick to my resolution to continue being the amazingly awesome person I already am and enjoy the fuck out it.