Glow In The Dark Weapons

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There was a period in time during high school where everybody was obsessed with glow-in-the dark stickers. Everybody covered all their books and crap with little glow in the dark letters, stars, animals, random shapes and whatever they could find. It was pretty cool, I remember one girl had a book cover done in all different fish, another had the solar system complete with all the planets, sun, moon and stars. Pretty much anything you could imagine they had, except for what I wanted. I could never find any weapons. So when I found a kit with blank sheets you could make into any shape I was excited as hell. I found pictures of guns, knives, swords and anything else I could think of to trace or draw onto the sheet to make my very own personalized stickers.

It was really cool, everybody liked them. Well everybody meaning all the other students. A couple might thought it was a little scary but that was a plus. But some of my teachers weren’t so happy about it and complained to the principal. Some of them wanted me suspended if I didn’t take them off. Not that I cared, they could of expelled me and I wouldn’t of cared. But the principal felt bad my mother had just passed away, my father had to tell everybody. She talked with me about it and sort of bribed me with help getting a job. I took them off, instead decorating the walls of my room with them. Wonder if the next people living there appreciated them.

Another Bitch To Brush Off

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A while back Jeff started fucking around with a chick from one of the neighborhood bars. She was horrible, a total two faced bitch. Every time I saw her around she was complaining or talking shit about the people she was hanging out with including Jeff. I told him he seemed pathetic, but he didn’t care. Fuck it though, what did I care. I just stayed far away when she was around. She tried saying hello and talking to me a few times but I just ignored her. Then one day she comes up to me while I’m sitting at the bar. As I was talking to a guy I had just met she taps me on the shoulder. “Just wanted to say hi. Who’s your friend.” She squeezes herself between our two stools. “Hi, I’m Eve.”

“Eddie” I turned in the stool making sure to push her aside with my legs. She moved to the other side of him pulling him to face her as she spoke. She positioned herself within inches of his face and did not stop talking. I saw him try to turn but she had trapped him in the seat. I turned back to the bar, finished my drink and waved to the bartender another one. Eventually, I heard him tell her he needed to piss, then run off quickly leaving his drink behind. After a few minutes she sat in his seat and started finishing off his drink. I spotted him on the other side of the bar sitting at a table with a bunch of guys. “You know he’s not coming back.”

“What? You talking to me?”

“Yes. I said he’s not coming back. You deaf?

“I don’t know. I mean no. What are you talking about?”

“The guy you chased away. He ran away and he’s not coming back.”

“You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Go home.”

“Oh yeah. So why’s he hanging out over there now.” I turned and pointed to the other side of the bar. Her eyes followed my finger, widening when she spotted him. “You just couldn’t get out of his face for two seconds.”

“Fuck you.” I laughed. “Bet you wont laugh when I get Jeff to kick your ass out.”

I started laughing harder, she just stared at me looking confused. When she walked away, I text Jeff to come by. She ran to him the minute he stepped into the door. I watched from the bar not moving. He saw me and walked away from her. She stared at me from behind him with her face all twisted

“Hey wassup.”

“So you’re little friend there has got to go.”

“Dude, what? Come on I know you don’t like her but I gotta get laid sometime.”

“First, you could do much better. Stop being lazy. Second, bitch is out of control. She actually told me she’d get you to kick me out.”

He looked at me for a minute before saying anything. “You’re kidding right.”

I didn’t answer him. While we were talking I could see her behind him inching her way closer and closer. I nodded in her direction when she was a few feet behind him. He turned and waved her over. She stood next to him smiling looking straight at me. “So you buying me a drink or what.”

“Nope.” She stepped back and gave him a shocked look.

“Yeah I’ve thought about it and you’re just too much of a…what’s the word I’m looking for?”

“Bum. Two faced bitch. Hoe bag.”

“Yeah that’s all about right.” We both started laughing hysterically while she just stared at us.

“You can’t–”

“Shut up bitch. Come on Jeff, let’s get out of here. This place is really going downhill.”

“You’re right nothing but trash here lately.” We walked out of the bar while she stood there in shock.

 

Dante Has Not Died

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It’s been a very long time since you’ve heard from Dante. I just wanted to update the blog and let any readers I haven’t lost know she is still well and alive, if only in my mind for the time being. Actually she can only be since she’s a fictional character. Back to the point, I do plan on continuing the blog and will soon be regularly updating it. Although I think I may have to cut back from weekly updates to every other week.

I also have some news. I’ve opened up an Etsy shop to experiment with selling my writing in different forms. One item you may be particularly interested in. A collection of edited posts from Devilish Dante’s Domain. The book entitled “Dante’s Tall Tales” includes 12 different posts; it’s printed on pastel lilac paper with a black cardstock cover and a hand sewn binding. I also have available poetry postcards and a Drunken Poems packet. Check them out and if your interested for a limited time I’ll be providing free shipping, just use the coupon code DDDFREESHIPPING.

I’ll also be starting a newsletter this coming year. If you’d like to keep updated on my other projects, or just enjoy my writing I hope you’ll sign up for my mailing list. Just click here to sign up.

 

A Lesson In Anger

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My mother was a big reader, it’s pretty much where I got my love of reading. But she was always into very literary and academic writers. I tended to go for the easy reads, mostly commercial fiction. I couldn’t concentrate when writers used too much flowery language, and the classics bored me to death. I like simple stories with lots of action or suspense, the kind of thing that keeps you reading because you just have to know what happens next. The simpler the writing the better, I think. She tried to get me to read harder books but I just couldn’t get into them. If I started to get lost or couldn’t get into the story I just put it down and never picked it back up. But her, she would struggle through the most difficult things even if she didn’t find it that interesting. I never understood it.

One of her favorites was Salman Rushdie. I remember her actually reading some of his books to me. Sometimes I liked the stories but most times I was never able to get through one of his books by myself. After she passed away though I would always get his books, it seemed sad that she would never be able to read his new work. I guess I would read them because she couldn’t and it was a way to connect with her. Most of the time thought I would forget what happened in the book even as I was reading it. Sometimes I’d try reading them again, she told me that was the only way to really appreciate great writers, but I never really could get through them all the way. But there was one book, Fury, that I read over and over, even though it was the most memorable for me.

It’s really so memorable because I completely understand and can relate to the main characters problem controlling his anger. Not only does he not even realized he has a volatile temper but he gets to the point where he has outbursts and doesn’t even realize it. I at least am aware of my temper but yeah I’ve definitely had times that I totally forgot about flipping out on somebody. But like him I have times where I walk around and feel like I’m filled with anger for no apparent reason. I’ve even been in situations where I hoped for a bad confrontation with somebody just so I could have a reason to unleash my anger. I guess it’s a bad quality to have but over the years I’ve learned to control it. Once I realized how entertaining and fun it can be to make other people flip out, instead I became more of a smart ass. I have plenty of times I feel that intense anger, or fury, but I rarely have the uncontrollable outburst.

 

Inconsiderate Asshats

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So of all the things that bother me about other people, the worst are those that just aren’t considerate of others. I wonder if they just were never taught these things, are too stupid to understand it, or simply don’t care. I could name a million of the little things that people do on a daily basis, but the worst offenders are always my neighbors. For one it seems like no matter where I stay it sounds like a heard of elephants live upstairs. Apparently, they don’t seem to realize they are walking above somebody else’s head and stomp around.

The worst neighbors were actually when I lived in a house with my father. The whole block was private houses, most with driveways. But on one side of my house the owner rented out to several tenants and nobody used the driveway, for cars at least. Instead one of the tenants decided that it would be a great place to hang out all the time. It was a young guy that always had different people over, and at times they would spend all night hanging out and being loud literally underneath one of my windows. He also had several girls that would come over with their kids and would let them run wild making actually slightly less noise than the adults. But it all still annoyed me. If that wasn’t bad enough though they would always barbecue there. He even had the even to set up the barbecue right up against my house. Because it’s totally logical to put an open flame directly next to somebody else’s house, right under a window. So even if he the house didn’t burn down, it filled with smoke. I told my father he should say something but he said it wasn’t that serious, he was never home anyway so it didn’t bother him. So it was left for me to deal with. I asked the guy very nicely the first time if he could move it, and he did with no problem. But the next time it was right back in the same place. Again I tried to stay calm but I didn’t ask I told him flat out he had to move it. This happened over and over again. I didn’t understand and still don’t, did he think on different days it would be okay.

Finally I got tired of telling him, plus he started having an attitude. I sensed he didn’t like that I was really just a kid telling him what to do. So one day they set the barbecue but I didn’t say a word. Instead I went into the kitchen and found the biggest pot I had and filled it with water. Right after they put all the food on the grill I dumped the water on it from the window. That was the last time I ever them barbecue at all.

 

Flash back to Prom

While I wasn’t much for school activities and that crap, I did go to my senior prom. I’m not even sure why I went. I never really liked anybody at school, even my so called friends. I barely even talked to them anymore. I guess I thought I’d feel like I missed out.  My “date” was Ricardo, we hung out with the same people at school. We agreed to go as friends, which mean we didn’t have to actually stay together all night. I found out later he had a different plan. He though if he stayed by my side all night, I’d change my mind. He followed me around the whole night, even after I told him to leave me alone. He told me he loved me. I could of punched him. “What? Get the fuck out of here” He laughed. “No really, leave the fuck alone.” He refused to believe I wanted him to go away. I had to run and hide from him, but he always found me. I’d be dancing, turn around and he was standing a couple of feet way.

Most of the kids I hung out with had already planned on going out after. There were a couple clubs having teen nights. I wasn’t sure if I’d go with them before, but he sealed the deal. I got in a cab and headed to my friend Lauren’s house. She lived in Brooklyn Heights, we met a year or so earlier hanging out under the bridge. We eventually started hanging out all the time. She never really went out, if she didn’t she didn’t leave her neighborhood. I could easily find her. That night she was at home, she thought I might show up after the prom. As soon as I got there we took off to meet some older friends in the neighborhood so I could turn my night around. An hour later I was drunk and making jokes about my horrible prom.

 

 

Skip the Silver Linings Please

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One of the things that has been annoying me lately is the excessive social media posts promoting positive thinking. It’s literally the only thing I see on my Facebook newsfeed some days. I’ve never really been into the positive thinking mentality. I can see it’s usefulness for some people but to me it just gets annoying. Do people really need constant reminders to be happy? Some people call me a pessimist but I don’t think I am, I just take things as they are; good or bad. There’s a cliche where people say I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist, but I think that’s dumb too. I just think like me, whatever that may be that day.

The one saying that’s always annoyed me the most is “every cloud has a silver lining”, or something like that. In reality it’s just a coping mechanism. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I guess, but it just seems like a load of bullshit. There is no connection between the bad things that happen and the good. Just ask some of the people that have lived through horrific life events, I doubt when somebody dies of starvation they are thinking, hey I bet some good will come from my death. Sometimes bad shit just happens. While I believe there are some people that can actually find good in the bad things that happen, it’s not like they are actually connected.

I think really it’s just a coping mechanism for those that are just to weak to deal with the reality of the world that we live in. Sometimes, hopefully, it happens to bad people or through the fault of the person it happens to. But life and the world, especially ours at the moment, is not fair and bad shit happens to everybody. Now telling yourself that some good will come out it is really just a way to deflect whatever bad feelings you have about it. To me it’s a cop out, I think you should just face your problems whatever they may be and then move on; looking for good in bad things is a waste of time.

Brother and Me

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Some people think because me and my brother don’t speak often we have a bad relationship. But I think we get along fine, we just aren’t that close. He’s got his life with his family and I have mine. We talk on holidays and his two daughters know me, I talk to them on holidays, birthdays, and random time throughout the year.

We’ve never really been that close. Between the gender gap and the age difference we were never into the same things and had no reason to really hang out together. When we had to spend time together was with the family as a whole. A lot like my father he didn’t really know how to relate to me, except that he at least tried.

There was the times he tried to do the whole older protective brother thing but it didn’t work out too well. A great example is when I entered high school, right away a couple of senior guys started hitting on me and one in particular I started messing around with and Joseph found out. So one day after school he confronts the kid with a bunch of his friends and started threatening him. They were in front of the school and they were trying to get him to go somewhere else to talk. But I saw what was going on and was not having it.

I ran over and tore right into Joseph. “What do you think you’re tough with all your buddies with you. You’re acting like a big pussy. What a big man you are.”

“He’s trying to take advantage of you. I’m just looking out for you. You know like a big brother should. You know he doesn’t even want other people knowing about your two.”

“Actually I was the one that suggested that. I didn’t want everybody knowing my business. But there goes that thanks to you.”

All this went on in front of half the school. We cursed at each other a little more and he ended up dropping it, but after that he never really interfered with me and the guys I was with.

Thanksgiving

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Before my mother died we always spent holidays just the four of us. The few years before I went away to college my father forced me to spend the day with him and his sisters family. They always spent it in a resort in the Poconos. I don’t know why he wanted to go. The food was horrible and none of us got along very well. We stayed the weekend and it always ended in some huge fight.

My father wanted me to go again my first year of college, I lied him I had no way of coming down, I was going to spend it with friends in the dorms. I came home and spent the weekend by myself. Since then I’ve always spent the night alone. Sometimes I could cook for myself, I’d make it with chorizo, corn and peas. I’m way too lazy to do everything else too. Besides it’s only me, I’m not a cooking full Thanksgiving meal for one person, that’s be crazy.

The past couple of years I’ve hit up the bars with Jeff after he gets back from dinner with his family. He always needs a drink or five after that. I always tell him he should just skip it. But the one time he tried to tell his parents he wasn’t coming they got upset and threatened to stop giving him money. So the pussy goes every year and cuts out as early as possible.